Friday, April 23, 2010

A Hug is Worth a Thousand Words!

While the old saying "a picture is worth a thousand words" is true, I have recently discovered that a hug is truly worth a thousand words.

The past couple of months have been incredible for Zachary and me. I learned about deep pressure hugs from Zachary's occupational therapist at school and started applying deep pressure to Zachary whenever I hugged him. The results? Amazing!! Zachary now wants to snuggle with me in bed in the morning, asks for hugs throughout the day and says "I love you mommy" so many more times now. It is a wonderful feeling and the level of our love for each other has really blossomed.

I tried to figure out why this simple act of a deep pressure hug would make such a difference. (Over the past 2 1/2 years since he has been my son I certainly hugged Zachary throughout the day, but with "normal" pressure. He accepted my hugs but he is the one initiating the hugs. ) So I have been paying attention to moms with their babies/ toddlers and I noticed that quite often they snuggle with their moms, or bury their heads into their mother's shoulders and there is a such great communication and love between the two of them. The "dance" between mother and child seems so natural and automatic.

When I see other moms with their babies or toddlers, I am sad when I see how much I missed out during Zachary's almost first four years of life. How many times in the orphanage did he want to reach out, only to have one of his deepest needs unmet. How many times in his little heart did he want someone to snuggle with who loved him with all that they can? I am sure during his first seven months with his birth family that deep need was met. But what happened to his little heart when they had to walk away, not able to care for him anymore... My heart breaks when I think of how deep the emotions go for both his birth parents who must have loved him with the depths of their heart to let him go because he wasn't healthy to the depths of emptiness that Zachary must have felt in his little heart who couldn't, at seven months, understand why the ones he so badly needed weren't able to be there for him...

So much he must have been loved during the first months of his life or else he wouldn't be able to reach out and trust me to be his mommy. So much is my love for him that I want to burst when he comes up to me and gives me a really big hug! The meaning behind his hugs and him wanting to snuggle with me is priceless. Zachary, I am truly grateful to be your mommy. I love you!!


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