Zachary and his cousin Ben

Two Days Until Surgery

Oh my sweet little boy. I feel so bad for you that in two days your mouth and lip will be so sore. The surgeon says that you need another repair on your lip and on the inside of your lip/mouth. I know that it is needed and necessary because the repair done in China wasn't done as well as it could have been. Your lip is pulling so tight against your teeth that your upper teeth have so much pressure as if you were wearing braces. This will help to relieve the pressure that keeps building against your teeth.

Although I know that it is needed it doesn't make it any easier to see you go through the surgery. I am suppose to keep you very quiet for the next two weeks and also make sure that you don't bump your mouth for the next six weeks!

Six weeks?! How do I keep you from playing with your sister and the fun that you two have so much together? How do I tell you "no, you can't go to Playworld, no, you can't go to school, no, you can't go to speech, no, you can't rough house with your older brother, Ryan." How do I keep you from catching a cold so you don't cough and hurt your mouth or all of the stitches on your lip. (Which, by the way, your older brother and sisters are all coming down with a cold over the past day.)

How I hate to see little tears roll down your face as you fall asleep in the operating room like you did before when I was with you for your other surgery. Once, again, I will put on the scrubs and walk beside you as you lay on the bed, your little hand clenched in mine. Trusting mommy. Looking up at me as the doctor places the mask on your face and you breathe in the medicine air to put you to sleep. I will, once again, hold you and hug you as you drift off, give you a kiss and walk out of the operating room to wait. This time, though, I will never see your face the same as I have for the past year. The same smile will be changed forever. I am sad as this is so hard for me to trust the outcome. I love you so very much, Zachary, and I am scared for you. But I have to be strong so you won't be afraid. When you awake I know that you will be in pain. How this breaks my heart and I am praying that you will heal quickly and that your pain can be managed.

Sleep now, little Zachary, for tomorrow night will be very short as I have to get you up at 4:45 am on Friday morning to bring you to the hospital downtown. I love you so very much.

Mommy

Stacie having fun in our pool.

Stephanie and Zachary at my parent's cottage

Happy Birthday/Gotcha Day Stacie!!!

Stacie and Paige


Stacie, Paige and Zachary

Gotcha Day/ Stacie's 4th Birthday!

Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of Stacie's "gotcha day" or as I now like to call it "Forever Family Day". When I think back on 3 years ago the memories come flooding back to that place in Hunan China when Stacie was placed in my arms. What an amazing day it was.

We celebrated by going to the mall and eating Chinese food, riding on the carousel, and earlier in the day, swimming in our pool.

Today we also celebrated the big events with the Harris'. Their beautiful daughter lived in the same orphanage as Stacie and the girls are about the same age. We traveled together three years ago while we were in China. It is so much fun for the girls and for us as parents to get together!

The video/song of Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman has really touched my heart recently. With the tragic death of Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter this past week the song reminds me of how time flies with our children. Having a daughter who will be a senior in high school within the next few weeks I don't want to miss out on all of the special moments with her or with any of my precious children.

For those who know me well, Steven and MaryBeth's story is what drew me to consider adopting back in 2003 and opened my heart up to the amazing plan that God had already begun orchestrating in our lives.

Vacation on Anna Maria Island

Zachary - I can't believe it's been only four months since you became a part of our family! It seems like we have been together forever : )





Zachary giving his older sister, Sarah, a birthday kiss. (Or was that a good night kiss too?)




Zachary hamming it up! He loves to tumble around.

I just couldn't resist another birthday photo of Zachary!

Zachary and his cousin Andrew playing the guitar.