A Hug is Worth a Thousand Words!

While the old saying "a picture is worth a thousand words" is true, I have recently discovered that a hug is truly worth a thousand words.

The past couple of months have been incredible for Zachary and me. I learned about deep pressure hugs from Zachary's occupational therapist at school and started applying deep pressure to Zachary whenever I hugged him. The results? Amazing!! Zachary now wants to snuggle with me in bed in the morning, asks for hugs throughout the day and says "I love you mommy" so many more times now. It is a wonderful feeling and the level of our love for each other has really blossomed.

I tried to figure out why this simple act of a deep pressure hug would make such a difference. (Over the past 2 1/2 years since he has been my son I certainly hugged Zachary throughout the day, but with "normal" pressure. He accepted my hugs but now....wow... he is the one initiating the hugs. ) So I have been paying attention to moms with their babies/ toddlers and I noticed that quite often they snuggle with their moms, or bury their heads into their mother's shoulders and there is a such great communication and love between the two of them. The "dance" between mother and child seems so natural and automatic.

When I see other moms with their babies or toddlers, I am sad when I see how much I missed out during Zachary's almost first four years of life. How many times in the orphanage did he want to reach out, only to have one of his deepest needs unmet. How many times in his little heart did he want someone to snuggle with who loved him with all that they can? I am sure during his first seven months with his birth family that deep need was met. But what happened to his little heart when they had to walk away, not able to care for him anymore... My heart breaks when I think of how deep the emotions go for both his birth parents who must have loved him with the depths of their heart to let him go because he wasn't healthy to the depths of emptiness that Zachary must have felt in his little heart who couldn't, at seven months, understand why the ones he so badly needed weren't able to be there for him...

So much he must have been loved during the first months of his life or else he wouldn't be able to reach out and trust me to be his mommy. So much is my love for him that I want to burst when he comes up to me and gives me a really big hug! The meaning behind his hugs and him wanting to snuggle with me is priceless. Zachary, I am truly grateful to be your mommy. I love you!!

Fun on Anna Maria Island

Stacie just adores her "big" brother.



Ryan, Zachary and Stacie are U of M fans!!



Sarah, Stacie and Zachary ready to go out for candy!



Stephanie and Stacie find the right pumpkin.

Wow! Zachary has been in our family for over a year now. We love him so very much! He is growing and changing all of the time. His command of the english language keeps amazing me. He and Stacie are such little buddies - which I am thrilled. They play all day long together and they sure do have the imagination - especially when they are together.

On Halloween Zachary and Stacie went trick or treating with their older sister Sarah. Zachary was dressed as a Michigan football player and Stacie was a Michigan cheerleader. They looked adorable together. And since the weather was warm they didn't have to wear a coat so people could actually see what they were dressed as.

Sue

Apple picking as a family



Zachary likes being on daddy's shoulders. Let's see...Gord is 6'7"...which makes Zachary VERY tall up there!


Zachary's first time picking apples. (One of our family traditions)

How is it that one year is already coming upon us?

A year ago today we were in Shanghai sightseeing and taking in China. Soon, October 8th will be Zachary's forever family day. What an amazing little guy we have been blessed with. His cute, witty personality certainly does keep amazing us.

His lip is looking better. I keep forgetting that his surgery was only three weeks ago. I need to be a little better at protecting the delicate surgery that was performed. But how do you keep an active little four year old still? My answer? You can't. But Zach does a pretty good job at "self-protecting" his lip. Speech therapy is still a couple of weeks away but we can already tell that his speech is improving. Yeah! I don't know if it is because of being three weeks older or because of the surgery but it sure is nice.

Zachary has physical therapy and occupational therapy evaluations from our school district pretty soon and so we might be going to PT, OT and Speech at our school. I am very thankful that the millage passed for special education in our county this past year! If Zachary is in need of PT and OT they will be able to provide that for him. Zachary has come a long way this past year (physically and geographically: ))!

Sue

A Beautiful New Day!!

What a beautiful day! As I was making coffee for myself and french toast for all of the kids before school I heard the little patter of feet coming towards me in the kitchen. With a big hug around my right leg I looked down to see my little guy sleepily rubbing his eyes and saying "hi mommy". Boy does that ever warm my heart. He and I snuggled for a big hug and then he was off and running.

I am grateful for his successful (3 1/2 long) surgery. Right now the two little kiddos are playing mommy and daddy. Stacie has her new pink, flowing Easter dress for next year (two sizes bigger than she normally wears) with a princess crown on. The music is playing to a kids praise and worship CD and they are dancing and she is twirling around with Zach. They have set up their house in our living room complete with a baby and all they need for a happy play time. They pause to dance together again. How sweet! He holds her hand so sweetly as she twirls and twirls.

Oh to be a kid again. They sure do know how to live life. It is sometimes hard being 45 years old (how did I get to be that age???) with five kids including two little ones (my energy isn't always there) but it is also a high I wouldn't want to trade. I heard a radio show yesterday about empty nesters and I thought "Yikes - that would have been me in 5 years if we hadn't adopted these two sweeties!". Now I won't be an empty nester for hmmmmmm about 14 more years! That is just fine with me. By then my older kids might be having their own kids so I get to have little kids around me for a very long time! : )

I love hearing the things that four year olds say. They are so observant and honest. Like the fascination that Stacie had just this morning when she said - wow the sun and moon are both out!

It certainly is a beautiful day! By the way...the Happy Song is playing right now on the CD! The some of the words to the Happy Song playing now is....

"Everybody's singing now 'cause we're so happy
Everybody's dancing now, 'cause we're so happy
If only we could see Your face
And see You smiling over us
And unseen angels celebrate, hey!
For joy is in this place"


Sue


This was taken after we hiked up to Alberta Falls in Rocky National Park in Colorado

Zachary and his cousin Ben

Two Days Until Surgery

Oh my sweet little boy. I feel so bad for you that in two days your mouth and lip will be so sore. The surgeon says that you need another repair on your lip and on the inside of your lip/mouth. I know that it is needed and necessary because the repair done in China wasn't done as well as it could have been. Your lip is pulling so tight against your teeth that your upper teeth have so much pressure as if you were wearing braces. This will help to relieve the pressure that keeps building against your teeth.

Although I know that it is needed it doesn't make it any easier to see you go through the surgery. I am suppose to keep you very quiet for the next two weeks and also make sure that you don't bump your mouth for the next six weeks!

Six weeks?! How do I keep you from playing with your sister and the fun that you two have so much together? How do I tell you "no, you can't go to Playworld, no, you can't go to school, no, you can't go to speech, no, you can't rough house with your older brother, Ryan." How do I keep you from catching a cold so you don't cough and hurt your mouth or all of the stitches on your lip. (Which, by the way, your older brother and sisters are all coming down with a cold over the past day.)

How I hate to see little tears roll down your face as you fall asleep in the operating room like you did before when I was with you for your other surgery. Once, again, I will put on the scrubs and walk beside you as you lay on the bed, your little hand clenched in mine. Trusting mommy. Looking up at me as the doctor places the mask on your face and you breathe in the medicine air to put you to sleep. I will, once again, hold you and hug you as you drift off, give you a kiss and walk out of the operating room to wait. This time, though, I will never see your face the same as I have for the past year. The same smile will be changed forever. I am sad as this is so hard for me to trust the outcome. I love you so very much, Zachary, and I am scared for you. But I have to be strong so you won't be afraid. When you awake I know that you will be in pain. How this breaks my heart and I am praying that you will heal quickly and that your pain can be managed.

Sleep now, little Zachary, for tomorrow night will be very short as I have to get you up at 4:45 am on Friday morning to bring you to the hospital downtown. I love you so very much.

Mommy

Stacie having fun in our pool.

Stephanie and Zachary at my parent's cottage

Happy Birthday/Gotcha Day Stacie!!!

Stacie and Paige


Stacie, Paige and Zachary

Gotcha Day/ Stacie's 4th Birthday!

Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of Stacie's "gotcha day" or as I now like to call it "Forever Family Day". When I think back on 3 years ago the memories come flooding back to that place in Hunan China when Stacie was placed in my arms. What an amazing day it was.

We celebrated by going to the mall and eating Chinese food, riding on the carousel, and earlier in the day, swimming in our pool.

Today we also celebrated the big events with the Harris'. Their beautiful daughter lived in the same orphanage as Stacie and the girls are about the same age. We traveled together three years ago while we were in China. It is so much fun for the girls and for us as parents to get together!

The video/song of Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman has really touched my heart recently. With the tragic death of Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter this past week the song reminds me of how time flies with our children. Having a daughter who will be a senior in high school within the next few weeks I don't want to miss out on all of the special moments with her or with any of my precious children.

For those who know me well, Steven and MaryBeth's story is what drew me to consider adopting back in 2003 and opened my heart up to the amazing plan that God had already begun orchestrating in our lives.

Vacation on Anna Maria Island

Zachary - I can't believe it's been only four months since you became a part of our family! It seems like we have been together forever : )





Zachary giving his older sister, Sarah, a birthday kiss. (Or was that a good night kiss too?)




Zachary hamming it up! He loves to tumble around.

I just couldn't resist another birthday photo of Zachary!

Zachary and his cousin Andrew playing the guitar.

Spending time at night with Zachary\
is something very special. Often I am very tired when Zachary is going to bed but when I linger around for a few moments he usually starts to talk about China. Some days he will sing in Chinese and other times he has gone off talking in long phrases or sentences in Chinese. Today he spotted a little teddy bear/blankie that has satin on the back. It was in a little bin by his bed. Since there were several books on top of the teddy Zachary must not have seen it before tonight. It was the little bear that I sent along with Amy a couple of months before we "got Zach". His eyes really lit up and he smiled as if to recognize the bear. I must have put it in the suitcase the day we got Zachary in China and I hadn't pulled it out to give back to him. Poor kiddo.

Well, he told me that Shoo Shoo gave it to him. Shoo Shoo means "uncle" in Chinese and that was the man that spent a lot of time with him. I asked Zachary if Shoo Shoo said that it was from Zachary's momma gan babba (mommy and daddy). He smiled and said yes yes! Zachary indicated to me that he slept with it. Right now he is sleeping with his little bear once again. : )

Earlier today he saw his drum that he had when we first met him. He was full of smilies and said Lai Lai's. I said yes it was. Then he rubbed his hands on his pants and asked where they were. I told him that the pants and shirt he wore in China when we met him were up in his room. He quickly took off running over to his room and I showed him. Then it was Q and A for me. I asked him about the morning of his coming to us. He smiled and rubbed his head (which means to us shower or bath) and tried to tell me more. I asked him if he knew that he was going to meet his mommy and daddy and he said yes yes (with a big smile). I asked him if he is happy and he smiled and said yes.

I can't wait for the day when he can tell me more about China and his past. There is so much I want to know!! I just have to make sure that I have the time to hang around beside his bed even more when we talk about his past because he usually wants to hang on to me longer as if he seems to need some extra love and "security" that I will always be there for him. It has got to be tough to trust again. I am thrilled that he is allowing himself to do it again.

Happy 4th Birthday Zachary!!








Yesterday was Zachary's 4th Birthday! I feel so blessed to be his mommy and to have the honor of sharing this special day with him. He seemed so very happy when we brought his cake out to him. We sang happy birthday and he blew out the candles. He kept asking me if that was his cake. I think he liked the fact that it was indeed for him--but he also needed to share with his family. We will be celebrating in February Zach, Ryan and Sarah's birthdays with all of the cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. That will be a big birthday party!

We spent some time up at Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation with my dad and mom yesterday too. My dad had a stroke on Christmas and should be released from the hospital on Tuesday!! The goal is to have him be able to use a walker instead of the wheelchair and for him to be able to use his hand again. Zachary and Stacie are great playing catch with the ball with grandpa. And my dad is getting better at catching the ball!! I am sure that the two little kiddos will be an active part at motivating my dad to keep getting better. You should have seen my dad in the wheelchair holding Zach and Stacie on his lap while navigating the hall of the hospital. The kids were delighted to get a ride with grandpa.



This was a week of doctor's appointments for Zachary. Monday the Dermatologist, Tuesday the Urologist, Wednesday the Opthalmologist, and Thursday the Speech Therapist. Whew! I think we met the insurance deductible for the year in just this week! We discovered that Zachary has Strabismus - which means that his eyes are not aligned. So he is wearing a patch for an hour each day. Stacie calls it his "Power Patch". He is such a trooper wearing the patch and we have really cool patches for him including camo and stars. In fact, Stacie doesn't understand why she can't get a princess patch.

I am so very thankful for the medicine and great doctors that we have available for our children in this country!

Christmas time at the Meijer Gardens!
Aunt Ruth (Garden's volunteer) giving us a tour

Zachary giving two thumbs up for the fun times

Stacie just adores her big brother!

Are these two a couple of hams or what? They just love to have fun!!

All I Want For Christmas Is a Family
These words from a song by Steven Curtis Chapman really hit me last Christmas when we were praying through the decision to adopt from China again and it really touched my heart. I would like to share some of the lyrics from the song for you...


All I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in
A shoulder to cry on if I lose, shoulders to ride on if I win
There's so much I could ask for, but there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family

But maybe if I had a brother or a dad to wrestle with
Maybe they could teach me how to get along
And from everything I've heard, it sounds like the greatest gift on earth
Would be a mom

All I want for Christmas is someone who'll be here
To sing me happy birthday for the next 100 years
And It's okay if they're not perfect or even if they're a little broken
That's alright, 'Cause so am I

Well, I guess I should go, it's almost time for bed
Maybe next time I write you I'll be at home

`Cause all I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in
Tell me I'll never be alone, someone whose love will never end
Of all that I could ask for, well, there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family

Goofing Around with Ryan and Stacie

Having fun on the slide at PlayWorld

Playing Apples to Apples with sisters, brother and cousins on Thanksgiving